Cool…

Now that I have an anonymous person (I know who you are, but you wish to remain anonymous) no longer reading my blogs, i feel empowered. Hell, you probably won’t remain anonymous for long though. You are very narcissistic, you tried to comment on my advocacy post and thought you were involved in the church school discriminating debacle because you thought I had some grudge against you. I’m speaking to nothing, as the specific anonymous person isn’t reading this. I have the power to approve comments on this site, so I didn’t approve you. If you intend to get out of my life, why be such a coward and do it anonymously!? You destroyed our relationship because I didn’t want sugar wafers on the 25th of March. You probably ripped up the book I gave you with our initials hand folded too. Someone worked hard to craft that, harder than you ever worked on improving our relationship. I am very glad you have finally removed yourself from me completely, as you didn’t have a chance.

Not that any of my posts were ever addressed to this narcissistic anonymous person who thought I’ve been writing to them this whole time, but I will continue to address the general public. I needed this more than they would ever realize. I deleted the comment and deleted them from my life.

A long death

My father’s parents are getting older. His dad, Poppop Len, is in an assisted living home due to old age and lack of mobility. He is 83 years old. I believe that Poppop Len has most of his faculties in check and I know his brain is still working, as he was making jokes and making my dad and I chuckle when we visited him in New York. I hope he’s enjoying his twilight years.

From left to right-Dad, Poppop Len, and me. We are all smiling.

My dad’s mom, known as Mommom to my brothers and I, is a different story. She is 84 years old. We also visited her. She is also in New York but at a different place. I didn’t recognize her when she was wheeled in the room. Both Poppop Len and Mommom have lived in New York ever since my aunt moved out there. My grandparents willingly moved to New York, little did they know how poor the retirement service are and my aunt isn’t really involved in their lives significantly anymore.

I gave Mommom some chocolate because she still has a sweet tooth. My mom had also been on this trip to New York, and I forgot to mention that she wasn’t allowed to see her father in law because of a strict two person visitation rule. She was allowed to give him a hug and then had to sit in the waiting room. Sorry, I will get back to the current point.

She explained why Mommom’s face was droopy, likely a result of a stroke. She is battling dementia. She was so quiet when we saw her.

I remember how she used to be before moving, very sure of herself. Her dark blonde hair used to be in a honeycomb style. Now it is wispy and white. Her brain is not completely gone, since she still showed a desire for candy. But she is slowly dying, and this fact hit me hard when we sat down with her. I felt guilty because she is wasting away in a different state and I could do nothing about it, I know it’s a part of life but I can’t be there for her. I was crying hard and said my allergies were bad to soothe Mommom’s worries in case she still had control over her emotions. I didn’t want her to think I was sad.

My dad was crying too. He rarely cries, so I knew he was sad. He apologized to me and said he wished he was able to let me see her before the disease got this bad. He must have felt guilty too. They lived so far away, so it was difficult to visit. It was not a practical thing to go visit my grandparents and cousins regularly.

Right before leaving, I did the one thing I thought about in the past. I wanted to tell loved ones “I love you” before they die. So, with tears in my eyes I said “I love you, Mommom” as did my dad and mom.

From left to right-Mommom, myself, and Dad. Both my dad and I have red eyes from tears.

Dementia is a cruel mistress that snatches people and kills them slowly. I wish more research could be done to help prevent or at least slow down the progression of it.

Here’s my opinion…

This may be controversial, I don’t know, but you have been warned!

So it turns out people are making money from the war between Russia and Ukraine. Why? And who cares about money when so many people are being affected negatively? I didn’t want to write this, but writing is the best way for me to express myself fully and cope with things i.e. read my last post here:

I am very disturbed by this. In my opinion, and possibly the opinions of many others, profiting from war is immoral. I don’t understand how or why people are benefiting from this from the side lines when they aren’t even participating in the war itself. It’s sickening to think there are people who willingly accept their profits from such an event—and I know they’re out there.

The war seemed to be started for selfish reasons and people who profile off the war are selfish too. People shouldn’t be greedily collecting money while so many innocent lives are becoming refugees and/or dying to save their country. It’s insane. And immoral.

So I had to do some research to discover how exactly profits from war work. So I went on gov owned websites to find out. From several government websites, I have discovered war profiteering is illegal, as it should be, but that didn’t answer my search query exactly. So I dug a little deeper. Gas prices are high, but why? The USA is not limited to only Russia for oil imports, and believe it or not, domestic production of oil is not affected by the war. I’ve found a collection of people who benefit from the war, and it’s for selfish reasons. Companies are getting richer and richer by not investing in efforts to help with increasing domestic supply. That is gross. And it should be illegal. The president is charging fees from companies that have extra supply that isn’t being used. Hopefully this changes the selfish minds of people somewhat. [1]

There are other individuals still profiting from the war in other ways but I cannot find reliable sources for this. Also I apologize for any odd coding with this post, I was trying to use coding to link to a reference. I don’t think it turned out right. I’ve been fiddling with it for a few hours and I will post it as is. I’m still learning coding language so please be easy on me!

[1] https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2022/03/31/fact-sheet-president-bidens-plan-to-respond-to-putins-price-hike-at-the-pump/

Why did I get a college degree? The reason may shock you.

So yes, I’m a college graduate with a BS in education. I am the first person in my family history to graduate college too, which is awesome for future generations. But why did I want to get a degree? The reason may shock you.

My mom always told me and my younger brothers that we were going to go to college. It wasn’t a free ride though as my parents didn’t have oodles of extra money to send us to college. In other words, I had to take out loans and apply for scholarships to pay for it. Yes it was expensive but I think it was worth it.

I went to two different colleges and graduated from the second one. It is called Cabrini University. The education taught there was way less stressful and I decided to get a degree for myself instead of doing it just because my parents wanted me to. Doing it for myself felt more gratifying.

I should back up quite a bit though, my reason started in May of 2009 when I was eleven years old. I was in an almost fatal car accident while trying to show a new friend around town. I wanted her to move to my town so I could see her more often and I guess I wanted to familiarize her with the town in case she moved there. Thank goodness she wasn’t also hit by the distracted driver of a Ford F-150, thank goodness. I don’t talk to her anymore, but she is often in my thoughts.

I was tossed over 50 feet upon impact. We were crossing the street on a crosswalk that is very close to a fire station, so I got help quickly. I was airlifted to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. My parents were notified at some point.

The prognosis I was given was very bleak. I was in a semiconscious vegetative state for a good deal of my stay. I suffered multiple broken bones, a traumatic brain injury, and additional vision loss on top of already being visually impaired at birth. The doctors told my parents that I would never walk, talk, or be able to function independently. At some point I wasn’t vegetative anymore and I insisted on walking out of the hospital to prove the doctors and statistics wrong, which I did.

I apologize for not going too in depth about the accident, but that is only the context for my reasoning. Now that that’s out of the way, I will get to the point. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was a child, but I decided against it when thinking realistically (I don’t want to preform a life or death operation wrong on someone’s beloved pet) so I went to college for educational studies. I did it if only to prove the doctors wrong yet again and defy statistics. Is that a good reason to get a college degree? That is up to your interpretation. I graduated from Cabrini University in 2020, and I betrayed the statistical outcome.

My dad bought my mom a lemon

So my mom has been saying for a long time that she wants a new car. My dad finally gets around to buying a new used car, and it breaks down the next day.

Dad didn’t test drive the car for whatever reason. This issue may have been avoided if he had, but that ship has sailed. My mom wanted to go on a test drive today, as she had a few errands to run and wanted to try it out. She invited me because I wanted to go buy a larger env to mail some documents. We drop my one brother, Riley, off at a friend’s house and try to drive to a store for the errands, but the car made a strange beep and Mom pulled over. The fun begins.

Some lights came on and the car displayed a harrowing message, “Stop Safely Vehicle Will Shut Off Soon” so Mom did as instructed and calls Dad to explain the situation. He tells her to try to drive home and that he would call the dealer about the problem. Sometime after this as Mom is trying to drive home, the main display panel which controlled the radio and such operations winked out. Mom asked me a bit later if she did that or did the car do It, I said it was the car. I said, “you bought a lemon,” and she corrected me with, “no, your dad bought me a lemon.” The car showed the harrowing display again. Mom moved to the side of the road as the car died.

Mom called for a tow truck and called my other younger brother, Noah, to come pick us up. The tow truck was scheduled to come in 45 minutes. So Mom and I had some time to just sit and think/talk. Mom said, “I should have worn my sweatshirt,” as she only had a tee shirt, black pants, and sneakers on. I say we could talk about what to have for dinner while we wait. The car had blinking lights that kept fading out. However the speedometer was flickering to different speeds even though the car was on the side of the road stalling and dying.

Noah comes by with my dad’s car, and we stand outside for a bit before entering the running car to escape the cold. Noah tried to jump the dead car, but to no avail. He said the battery was likely the problem.

The tow truck came and talked to Mom some before very quickly towed the lemon to the dealer. Mom then drove to a donut shop to get coffee and donuts. Unfortunately the donut shop was out of donuts.